Tales from the Revenue Office...

I meant to post this last week, but I got lazy.

Anyway, so it's Thursday morning and as I'm leaving the house to go on a leisurely 3 mile run with my buddy Nate I realize that it is the first of March. As I'm slipping on my shades to hide my eyes from the sun I also realize that my tags on the car I'm presently driving expired on the 28th. I'm too far from the house to turn around and too scared of the UCA PD to continue. So I take the Round MOuntain course and slowly make my way to work and park the car.

That afternoon I had to go have the tags renewed, because I was too scared to drive home and risk having to pimp slap a cop. I ruffle through my glove compartment looking for all of the mess I know I'll need and I can't find my proof of insurance. So I make a stop by the insurance office and get a copy printed off, easy enough. I guess I'm off to a great start.

Then I go by the assessors office to get the stamp saying that all of our taxes have been paid, yada yada yada. So in I go and back to the office I go to find out that they had my taxes paid but not my wifes. The lady says that they have our stuff separate, but she'll combine them going forward. Still no biggie, except I had to go to the bank to get cash, cuz if yo azz is delinquent they don't want ur bouncin checks and empty debit cards. They want cash or money order ONLY! I guess I understand the logic behind that. So I was all nice and stuff.

One more stop and I'm almost back to work (lunch hour be damned!). I walk up in the revenue office and I see that they were currently serving # 82. I go to pull a number and I had to do a double take - 116.

And there were people streaming in. So I sit down and begin my wait. As the workers slowly worked their way up the number scale, I sat down and was assualted by all kinds of sights.

This one guy left his belt at home and apparently he liked showing us azz crack and tighty whiteys. The lady behind me commented to her husband that his 'draws ain't been white in a long time' - and that 'rather than wash them filthy thangs, he should just throw them away'. I was forced to agree with her. You know its bad when you see the skin below the briefs....I felt doubly assaulted.

Assault #2, the little girl on the row ahead of me decided that she like swinging between chairs and kicking me. I decided that I liked accidentally kicking the chair and making her fall. It was a win-win situation.

Assault #3, when they finally called my number (after over an hour) it took me like 3 minutes to actually renew my stuff. AND, they charged me a $3 penalty for being late.

Bump the revenue office folks!

Lost Without You...

I'm really feeling this song now...hope you enjoy the video

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Today has been pretty uneventful! Nothing big. I'm avoiding work, but what's new about that. It's hump day (I said hump....hee hee hee).

I'm feeling very juvenile. Maybe it's spring fever or just an overall enjoyment of life, who knows.
I'm ready for the weather to get nicer outside, permanently. I enjoy spring time. I'm going to go ahead and drop these last 30 vanity pounds and be killin em left & right. You better get your bid in now, cuz I'm going to be in high demand/short supply come May.

A trend of discontent seems to be floating around among my friends. Discontent with life, progress and just the world in general. I would usually be on the bandwagon, putting in my two cent, but I'm not in that place right now. I spent so much time there, where everything caused me to complain. I found that I was a very unhappy person when I focused my time on what was wrong.

Now I just ignore the problems. I pretend that all is well.....all the time.

One isn't better than the other, but where is the happy medium? Life is just problem riddled. That may sound pessimistic, but sadly it is the truth. I changed the quote on my myspace page to say "What you look for is often what you find" or something to that nature. And that's true. If you look for the bad in any situation, you will surely find it. I think that we have to realize that each situation has good & bad aspects. Knowing that should give you the strength to deal with them both. No place is a utopia (should that be an utopia??).

Ok, enough rambling. Enjoy the Robin Thicke video....cuz I am "Lost Without You"

I'm back....

I know that all of you (the three that read my blog) thought that I had died and gone to hog heaven, since I've not posted in almost three months. But today, I am officially resurrected, (though I had not even died). Is that possible?

Anyway, so much has happened since we've last talked or read or whatever it is that we do on these things, but anyway....

• Jennifer Hudson won an Oscar for her performance in Dreamgirls.
• Dr. George O'Malley wed Callie Torres on Grey's
• I'm gonna be a daddy (to twins)
• It's now 2007
• Whitney Houston is dating Ray J
• I'm going to be an actual father to living people
• Britney Spears is crazy and flashed her cooch
• People are going to call me daddy

Wild times, I tell ya.

What is it with me & this thing...

Why can't I seem to post more?

As I've previously said, it is not a lack of topics which need discussing, but merely a laziness on my part. A lack of enthusiasm or get-up-n-go on my part. Did I just make up a word? I think I did. Yaaa me.

It's cold outside. I'd much rather be home with chili & cinnamon rolls being my friend instead of here with harassing coworkers and funky adhoc projects. Neither of which are my friends.

I wish I lived in a fantasy land. Where there was no lack and no disappointment. How fun would that be.

I'm done for today. Can't rush back into it. Baby steps...baby steps.

One wish....

Is it possible to have only one wish?

I started the thought process for this blog by trying to pinpoint my one wish. The one thing that I'd wish for over anything else. And maybe I'm just extremely selfish or indecisive but I can't whittle down the many things that I would wish for. Is that weird? I want so much or so many different things that granting one wish may bring fulfillment to one area but wouldn't do a darn thing for the other areas of my life. Maybe I'm high maintenance....

Isn't it funny how you can think you want something, until you actually get it. And after you get it, you realize that it isn't the 'fun in a can' u thought it would be. I guess I'm experiencing that - somewhat.

Ya know what I like in people....honesty! Oh and a nice smell, but more than that honesty. It doesn't matter what you're honest about, just be honest for goodness sake. Quit hiding behind thinly veiled lies and simple omissions. They only last for so long. I have friends and acquaintances who are not even familiar with their own truth. Wouldn't know it if it hit them upside the head, but they are quick to point out falsehoods in my life...how funny!
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Ok, enough random stuff. Somethings just need to be said - now I can move on.

I'm still being harassed at work. When will people be able to see beyond my mind blowing sexiness. It's such a curse to be so fine. But hey, somebody's got to do it, might as well be me. The perpertrator is actually more annoying than anything. It's like they are attention starved or something and will do anything to get a lil bit - of attention that is.

Moving around the 15th of November. Should probably start packing sometime soon, but ugh I hate the thought of packing & moving. But I guess I gotta do what I gotta do. Anybody wanna help. I'll provide the pizza, beer, boxes & tape. You provide the labor. If that sounds good to you, gimme a call. I would put my number out here, but hey I already have one stalker.

I was sooo cute for church on Sunday. You should have seen me. It was like GQ had done a layout and I was the centerfold. I was so hot I wanted to rub myself, but since it was church I had to wait until I got home. I'll have to find a picture somewhere and post it. I see why people grab my butt and make lewd suggestive comments in my ear when no one else is around. For real ya'll, I was on another stratosphere fine. It was wonderful. When I get my hair plugs to cover up the part of my head that refuses to produce hair, its gon be on! I'm gon be too hot to handle & too cold to hold!

Speaking of cold, I'm freezing my nards off right now. It's freaking cold up here. My hands are too cold to scratch where I inevitably will itch. My nose is running and I'm gassy. I have so many problems....

Pray for me...

One wish....

Is it possible to have only one wish?

I started the thought process for this blog by trying to pinpoint my one wish. The one thing that I'd wish for over anything else. And maybe I'm just extremely selfish or indecisive but I can't whittle down the many things that I would wish for. Is that weird? I want so much or so many different things that granting one wish may bring fulfillment to one area but wouldn't do a darn thing for the other areas of my life. Maybe I'm high maintenance....

Isn't it funny how you can think you want something, until you actually get it. And after you get it, you realize that it isn't the 'fun in a can' u thought it would be. I guess I'm experiencing that - somewhat.

Ya know what I like in people....honesty! Oh and a nice smell, but more than that honesty. It doesn't matter what you're honest about, just be honest for goodness sake. Quit hiding behind thinly veiled lies and simple omissions. They only last for so long. I have friends and acquaintances who are not even familiar with their own truth. Wouldn't know it if it hit them upside the head, but they are quick to point out falsehoods in my life...how funny!
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Ok, enough random stuff. Somethings just need to be said - now I can move on.

I'm still being harassed at work. When will people be able to see beyond my mind blowing sexiness. It's such a curse to be so fine. But hey, somebody's got to do it, might as well be me. The perpertrator is actually more annoying than anything. It's like they are attention starved or something and will do anything to get a lil bit - of attention that is.

Moving around the 15th of November. Should probably start packing sometime soon, but ugh I hate the thought of packing & moving. But I guess I gotta do what I gotta do. Anybody wanna help. I'll provide the pizza, beer, boxes & tape. You provide the labor. If that sounds good to you, gimme a call. I would put my number out here, but hey I already have one stalker.

I was sooo cute for church on Sunday. You should have seen me. It was like GQ had done a layout and I was the centerfold. I was so hot I wanted to rub myself, but since it was church I had to wait until I got home. I'll have to find a picture somewhere and post it. I see why people grab my butt and make lewd suggestive comments in my ear when no one else is around. For real ya'll, I was on another stratosphere fine. It was wonderful. When I get my hair plugs to cover up the part of my head that refuses to produce hair, its gon be on! I'm gon be too hot to handle & too cold to hold!

Speaking of cold, I'm freezing my nards off right now. It's freaking cold up here. My hands are too cold to scratch where I inevitably will itch. My nose is running and I'm gassy. I have so many problems....

Pray for me...

Poor Neglected Blog

I must repent. I must repent now and openly. I must repent for neglecting my blog for so long. It hasn't been a lack of activitiy or a lack of desire to blog, but just plain laziness that kept me from blogging. In my absence, I have found several new blogs that I like to read daily. And I must confess that I get a little peeved when they don't update daily. All the while I leave my own space over here gathering dust and cuck-a-bugs. How sad am I? I'm a bad blog daddy....

Let's see...what's new in my life....hmmmm. Oh, we've sold our house and bought another one. We should be closing on both within the next few weeks. Have I ever told you guys how much I hate moving? If not, please let me say I HATE MOVING! The whole deal. Packing, moving, unpacking. It is so unappealing, but the wife wants new space. And I want, well u know, so I'm giving her new space.

What else? Work still sucks, except there's this person who sexually harasses me. I used to think that I'd love to be harassed, but now that I'm on the receiving end of butt grabs and language that's not proper, it makes me sad. In the words of a really good friend "too bad she's a whore." There's not much more to say on that subject. I'm trying to avoid her until her feeling of lust passes. Who knew that working out 5 days a week would make strange women throw their coochies at you like you were the wide receiver of some football team?

I'm still trying to drop down to 200 lbs. I weighed earlier today and that scale said that I weighed 214 or 212, I can't really remember. But I can remember hugging the steel scale and kissing the little sliding thing at the top. I think it was inappropriate, but hey who cares. None of you told me that I'd lost some weight! Am I a whore now, a scale whore? How sad!

Oh, on the work scene, I was named the Associate of the Month during a meeting earlier today. It kinda makes me sad, because if I'm supposed to be a model employee and I spend like 2/3 of my day avoiding work then this place is in big trouble. I guess I'm a good faker. Let's hope I can keep it up!

Ok, I'm all blogged out for now...bbl. I promise.

No really this time I'm for real, I will be back.

Times, they are a changin!!!

While perusing msn.com this morning, I ran across an article about Wal-Mart discontinuing their lay-a-way operations. And while I've not used lay-a-way for quite some time, I always enjoyed knowing that the option was there. If you're interested in the article.....
http://news.moneycentral.msn.com/provider/providerarticle.asp?Feed=AP&Date=20060914&ID=6022388

The article reminds me of how far God has brought me. No, I don't have my mansion on a hill yet, but I am not longer below the poverty level. At the same time it saddens me to think of all the people who used lay-a-way, and not because they're cheap but because they don't have the money or resources (credit cards, Christmas club or other avenues) to go out and purchase necessary items or simply wanted items for times such as Christmas.

Of course the Scrooge in me says that if they can't afford it then they probably shouldn't be buying it in the first place, but hey this is America. We all want what we can't afford. I know single mothers who use lay-a-way at Wal-Mart each year to ensure that their kids have a happy Christmas morning. I wonder what those mothers will use this year or next year? Maybe I need to adopt a family and ensure that they have a decent Christmas...hmmm. I'll put a pen in that one and come back to it.

Been a pretty busy week. Trying to fight the battle of junk mail and I think we may be winning. I tackled the job of straightening up my office at home last night. After three bags of stuff to shred and 3 bags of junk to throw away, I think we may see the light at the end of the tunnel. Though that's just one room. We have several to go. Pray for us as we fight the battle of junk.

Exercising has been tough this week. I seemed to have hurt the calf/shin of my right leg. I think it may just be a temporary thing, nothing that I need to go under the knife for, but it sure hurts like heck!

ok, i have work to do now...holla!