Tales from the Revenue Office...

I meant to post this last week, but I got lazy.

Anyway, so it's Thursday morning and as I'm leaving the house to go on a leisurely 3 mile run with my buddy Nate I realize that it is the first of March. As I'm slipping on my shades to hide my eyes from the sun I also realize that my tags on the car I'm presently driving expired on the 28th. I'm too far from the house to turn around and too scared of the UCA PD to continue. So I take the Round MOuntain course and slowly make my way to work and park the car.

That afternoon I had to go have the tags renewed, because I was too scared to drive home and risk having to pimp slap a cop. I ruffle through my glove compartment looking for all of the mess I know I'll need and I can't find my proof of insurance. So I make a stop by the insurance office and get a copy printed off, easy enough. I guess I'm off to a great start.

Then I go by the assessors office to get the stamp saying that all of our taxes have been paid, yada yada yada. So in I go and back to the office I go to find out that they had my taxes paid but not my wifes. The lady says that they have our stuff separate, but she'll combine them going forward. Still no biggie, except I had to go to the bank to get cash, cuz if yo azz is delinquent they don't want ur bouncin checks and empty debit cards. They want cash or money order ONLY! I guess I understand the logic behind that. So I was all nice and stuff.

One more stop and I'm almost back to work (lunch hour be damned!). I walk up in the revenue office and I see that they were currently serving # 82. I go to pull a number and I had to do a double take - 116.

And there were people streaming in. So I sit down and begin my wait. As the workers slowly worked their way up the number scale, I sat down and was assualted by all kinds of sights.

This one guy left his belt at home and apparently he liked showing us azz crack and tighty whiteys. The lady behind me commented to her husband that his 'draws ain't been white in a long time' - and that 'rather than wash them filthy thangs, he should just throw them away'. I was forced to agree with her. You know its bad when you see the skin below the briefs....I felt doubly assaulted.

Assault #2, the little girl on the row ahead of me decided that she like swinging between chairs and kicking me. I decided that I liked accidentally kicking the chair and making her fall. It was a win-win situation.

Assault #3, when they finally called my number (after over an hour) it took me like 3 minutes to actually renew my stuff. AND, they charged me a $3 penalty for being late.

Bump the revenue office folks!