Happy Monday morning, if there is such a thing!

Today was the starting of the stims. You'd think I'd be a pro at mixing and giving these shots by now, but I was just as nervous as ever. The shots that we'd been doing up until now have been pretty simple, just insert the needle into the vial and withdraw a certain amount and voila...you're ready to poke. Well not only are these medicines more complicated - they are way more expensive and way more important than the other drugs we've been taking. Too much and you'll over cook the eggs....too little and you won't feed them enough. Well I start playing with the equipment last night and to my surprise the pen doesn't work the way that the lady told me (a month ago). So I'm freaking out because we have to give the injections before the office opens and so I need to know before then. Luckily, common sense prevails and I realize why it is not working, but that doesn't lessen my anxiety about it. So this morning comes and I go into the kitchen to prepare the medicine. And I promise that I feel like a chemist or something. I'm following directions like - take .5 cc's of this saline solution and mix with the powder in this vial. Draw that up into a 3 inch needle syringe and change the needle and set aside. That's just one medicine.... Then for the other two similiar directives. I get them all prepared and coax the wife out of the back and prep her for three shots. And I have to remind her that these three aren't it. We have two more tonite and then we start all back over tomorrow morning and continue until they tell us to stop. Yippee..... Well the first two aren't so bad because they are sub-q (small needles that sting but only momentarily). The last one is the IM (intramuscular) and is given with a three inch needle in her thigh. Sounds as ugly as it really is. Well, I can tell that she antsy. No matter how many times you've done this a three inch needle approaching you tends to make you a little anxious. After I break the skin I can tell that it hurts because she's flexing the toes on her opposite foot. I finally get all the way in and pull back on the syringe (to make sure that I haven't hit an artery) and inject the medication. You'd think it'd be over there, but no, coming out has to hurt just as much as putting it in.... just ugliness all around. And we have to repeat this whole thing in about 12 hours. Happy happy joy joy!

I know that I sound cynical, but I really am grateful to both modern medicine for the possibility that they are providing me and my wife for going through all of this. I'm not sure I could do it. I'm really a big sissy....

I want to go to Florida for a month. Just sit by the water, I don't really have to swim. I just want to get away and chill. Hopefully after this whole thing is over we can get away and just chill out. Rest & relax and talk about something other than this or work or bills. ooh I hate bills...figured I'd throw that in for good measure.

Friends of mine (coworkers mostly, 1 friend) are going to NYC tomorrow. And they're leaving me here. I wanna go, only cuz it'll be boring here without JAC, but hey I guess I'll live.

Weekend was good, I look like a rainbow today! Bought some shorts this weekend, makes me look sexy, I'll have to post a pic. Ooh I'm so vain - not really, but I so have the potential.

bye...