How much???

How much is too much?

Are we moving outside of God's plan or taking too much into our own hands? If we move on to the next step will we end in failure there too because it's just not for us?

All questions that I wish I had an illusion of an answer to.

I wish I knew how much more we'd have to bear or how much longer we'd have to wonder or if we're even on the right track.

Control...it's what I lack in this situation. It spills over into other areas of my life.....uncontrollably.

I try to gain control in other areas to make up for my lack of it in this area. I want to have something my way. Something will make up for the lack in other areas. How funny is that? There is no real substitute or some place holder. There's no where to hide, no place in which to find refuge. Oh yeah there is, but that's the one place I don't want to be right now. I want to be as far away as I can.

You hear so many times that a dream delayed doesn't necessarily mean a dream denied, but how do you know the difference?

I'm just a little bitter today, it'll pass. It always seems to fade over time.

Anyway, I had a pretty good weekend. Didn't do anything worth reporting....

Went to a crab boil and was so satisfied by the food. I mean sooooo satisfied by the food. It was just a shame. I must've cracked athousand crab legs and ate a thousand ears of corn. The company was good too.

I still haven't mowed my lawn. My neighbors on both sides of me have and their freshly manicured lawns are taunting me. I'm tempted to do something evil to their lawns, I can't think of anything now, but I'm sure it'll come to me later.

Oooh, I bought an .85 shirt on Saturday. That had to be the pride of my weekend. I'm actually wearing it now. For .85, I must admit that it's quite cute. I could get used to this brand of shopping. Thanks JCP for the coupon!

Gotta get back to pretending like I'm earning my keep. Today is payday u know!