Settling...

I have been meaning to write this since Sunday afternoon, but the busy-ness of life has kept me from paying proper attention to this.

How often do we settle for something? How often do we let our dreams fall to the wayside because we're either too scared or too busy or simply too involved in other's dreams to make ours a reality? Are we settling for less than our best? I guess that question would be better asked, am I settling for less than my best? This job is not my best, I can tell you that much. I know that there is something out there that I would love to do and actually be good at, but what is it? I'm actually a little scared to find out what it is because what if I can't do it...for whatever reason. What if I'm not smart enough to make it happen, or what if the circumstances of life prevent me from ever realizing it. Will I be 50 years old and still unfulfilled? That can't be, I'll go crazy. I promise I will.

Ok, totally off subject...a friend of mine told me today that she was a 'gagger'. It cracked me up. Maybe I am a perv, I don't know but I busted a gut and was amazed that she thought she could just say that and I wouldn't crack up. Granted we were talking about horsepill vitamins, but still! Am I the only perv around......

Dedication on Sunday went beautifully. The baby was sooo cute, I wanted to just kiss her over and over again. Seeing that makes me think about the reality of my own situation. How empty would my life be if we never had kids? Sure we'd be the greatest aunt and uncle in the world, but will we ever have kids of our own? And if they're ugly will I be upset that we fought so hard to have them --j/k ;-)--.

I promise to try and make more time for you in the future...i should never go a week without writing something. I think too much to keep it all balled up inside of me. I'll go insane...insaner (is that a word?)