Never Alone But Yet Lonely?!?!?!?

Who among us wouldn't love to be stranded on a tropical isle, with a few drinks and even fewer friends? Give me a satellite television, and a cell phone with no reception, a quilt and a laptop (so I can surf the net and keep up with the news) and a month off of work and I'd be happy.

I guess you can tell that I'm tired and in need of a few days off - not only from work but from life. Is it possible to call in sick to life? I can tell that I'm tired because things that I usually devote alot of time and energy to are lacking and I don't have the strength to pick them up. I've not read a book in weeks. Exercise is slacking off (but i'm getting back on that horse at lunch time) and my house is a mess. I get off of work and all I want to do is lay down and watch tv. I say that I'm going to spend a day laying around and resting, but instead I spend it ripping and running. Is there any me time? Am I a priority?

No one's issues are solved because I spend time worrying about them - not even mine! Why do I stress myself out and stretch myself thin for other people. Sometimes I think I get strength from it, but am I really just a tireless gossip? Am I one of the people who want to know just for the sake of knowing? Or do I occupy my time and my life with the problems/issues of others because I am afraid to spend time alone with me? Am I afraid to get to know me - without the background noise of my favorite television show or my ipod playing my favorite song or my cell phone sending and receiving texts?

What am I so afraid of?
I can't be that bad a person can I?
Can my thoughts be that lethal?

I can spend all day listening to the thoughts and problems of others and sometimes I can offer a kind or encouraging word, but I ignore the things that plague me until the last minute. I ignore my own problems and questions until they are either too far out of hand or until they go away....hmmm what does that say about me?

Today, for at least 30 minutes I promise to spend time alone with me. NO DISTRACTIONS. I wonder what I'll find out about me that I never knew before. I'm scared....you should be too!